October 2025
If you’re the parent of a high schooler, you’ve probably noticed how different today’s teenage social lives look compared to your own. Fewer Friday night football games, fewer weekend hangouts, and fewer part-time jobs. Instead, a lot of downtime is absorbed by screens, digital conversations, and streaming platforms. What may feel like “just the times changing” is actually a measurable, troubling trend: high school students are becoming far less socially engaged in the real world.
Ryan Burge[i], professor of practice at the John C. Danforth Center on Religion and Politics at Washington University in St. Louis, has been digging into decades of data collected by the long-running Monitoring the Future survey. His conclusion is stark: today’s teens are the least socially engaged generation of high schoolers on record–and the numbers back him up
Dating, Friends, and Jobs: All in Decline
Burge points to three everyday markers of teenage social life: dating, hanging out with friends, and working a job. Together, these provide a snapshot of how teens are–or aren’t–interacting outside of school and home.
Dating: In 1995, only about a third of high school seniors said they rarely dated. By 2010, that figure had risen to nearly half. By 2021, it reached a striking 72%. In other words, the majority of today’s 12th graders hardly date at all
Friend Hangouts: Back in the mid-1990s, only about 22% of seniors said they went out with friends less than once a week. By 2014, that number had climbed to 35%. In 2020 and 2021, it hit 46%–nearly half of all high school seniors rarely spending time with peers in person
Jobs: Work experience used to be nearly universal for high schoolers. In the 1990s, 80% held a job of some kind. Today, about a third of seniors don’t work at all, a change that began around the Great Recession and has stuck
When Burge combines these three markers—dating, friends, and jobs—he finds that in 1995, only 3.5% of high school seniors qualified as “non-social.” By 2022, that share had ballooned to 16%, a nearly five-fold increase.
The Smartphone Factor—But Not the Whole Story
Many parents might immediately point to smartphones as the culprit, and there’s truth to that. Burge notes that the trend accelerated dramatically after 2010, just as the iPhone and social media became central to teenage life.
But the story started earlier. Between 1995 and 2010, long before Snapchat streaks and group chats, the number of “non-social” teens had already doubled. As Burge explains, “This isn’t completely about smartphones. High school students were moving away from socializing long before the iPhone, albeit at a slower pace”
The Role of Community and Religious Involvement
Interestingly, one factor does seem to buffer against total withdrawal from social life: regular community involvement. Burge observes that “the 12th graders who are the least social are those who never attend religious services. The ones who are the most social are those who attend religious services on a monthly basis”
This isn’t about belief, doctrine, or religiosity per se. It’s about the structure and built-in opportunities for interaction. A youth group meeting, a volunteer project, or even just chatting in the lobby after services provides social practice and belonging. As Burge notes, “hanging out begets hanging out”–a reminder that kids need repeated, low-stakes opportunities to engage face-to-face.
Why This Matters for Parents
Why should parents care if teens aren’t dating, working, or hanging out as much? Because these are the arenas where young people learn crucial skills: how to navigate relationships, resolve conflict, show up on time, manage money, and simply enjoy the give-and-take of friendship. Without them, teens risk entering adulthood less prepared for jobs, college, and relationships.
Burge’s own worry is heartfelt: “My son’s ability to be social, engage in good conversation and build strong relationships is absolutely essential for them to lead a productive, fulfilling life. I feel pretty powerless to make that happen for them”
Many parents can likely relate to that mix of concern and helplessness.
What Parents Can Do
While no single solution exists, there are steps families can take:
Encourage real-world commitments. Whether through sports, clubs, volunteering, or part-time jobs, structured activities give teens built-in reasons to interact.
Create screen-free opportunities. Invite friends over for dinner, plan family outings, or foster small gatherings at home that model face-to-face connection.
Seek community. If religious groups aren’t the right fit, consider civic groups, arts programs, or recreational leagues that bring teens together regularly.
Model balance. Teens notice when parents prioritize relationships, put away phones during dinner, or make time for neighbors and friends.
Conclusion
The rise of “non-social” high school students isn’t just a quirk of this generation–it’s a serious shift with long-term consequences. As Ryan Burge’s analysis shows, fewer teens are dating, hanging out, or working than ever before, and nearly one in six seniors are now effectively disengaged from peer social life.
The challenge for parents isn’t to turn back the clock, but to help their teens find spaces–whether through clubs, jobs, or community groups–where they can learn to connect. Because at the end of the day, the ability to build relationships may be the most important life skill of all.
[i] Ryan Burge, High School Students are Growing Incredibly Anti-Social.